The Day The Cars Saved My Life
(how watching my life implode at 50 became the best thing that ever happened)
TL;DR:
At 50, I hit the wall—hard. No job, no direction, no clue. Rock bottom? Felt lower. That’s where I rebuilt everything. This is the story of how I went from "What the hell now?" to "Hell yeah!" by torching the BS and rewriting the rules. Spoiler: The success formula is a lie, failure is fuel and connections are your rocket fuel. If you’re ready to stop playing small, claim your place in the stars, and create a life so bold it bends the cosmos, let’s go. Don’t just exist—ignite.
I was watching the steam roll off of the top of my coffee cup.
Not feeling.
Not thinking.
Disconnected from everything except the New Wave flavor of the Cars knocking on
my periphery like it was asking for permission.
My last paycheck hit my account two weeks ago.
The business I built was done.
My job was a memory.
My desire to continue in my career was dead.
My future and the future of my family was one huge question propped up by every
fear I could feel and so much self doubt, I was actually shocked.
50 years old and no clue what to do.
This was not what I thought the second half was going to be like.
It was not the story I had been told.
I thought I was doing everything right.
I thought I there was plenty of fuel in my American dream.
I checked the boxes.
I did the things.
I earned the approval.
And, yet…
Sound Familiar?
Of course it does.
But you aren’t alone!
At the time, though, I’d never felt more alone.
Everyone I knew was doing great.
They had big trucks, not minivans.
They had second homes. I’d lost my first.
They had retirement. I had debt.
At least, that’s the story I was telling myself.
I got busy being busy, trying to convince myself that I was doing something.
I was just avoiding. There isn’t a Youtube that helps you deal with drinking to a point
where the drinks start telling you that you might want to find another way to cope.
But I looked for one.
Is it just me?
No. Of course not.
But I didn’t know that then.
What I thought I knew was:
I missed the boat, too old to start over.
I don’t have what it takes to do something new.
People may need what I have, but no one is going to pay for it.
It was bleak!
The lights were going down and the curtain was closing.
I was running out of time and the clock was speeding up.
But then, I was like, that’s bullshit!
I don’t believe that can possibly be true.
People my age are starting over all the time. Everywhere. It’s not…just…me!
This was a breakthrough moment. The straw that broke the camel’s pity party.
I took a self inventory, wrote down everything I could do, everything I loved to do and
everything I wanted to do and it was a shit ton. I stepped back and looked at the guy
on paper and I was like, "I’d LOVE to meet that guy!"
Once I had that, once I saw that, I couldn’t unsee it.
Even thought I didn’t feel like I looked on paper, I knew one thing: I wanted, more
than anything to feel like that guy. I wanted to be that guy. I wanted to own being
that guy.
And that was my new job: Being the most me I could be.
I heard the pilot light in that moment. And, this is real, I could hear the song that wasplaying; I could hear the Cars, "I guess you’re just what I needed."
So I wrote down my manifesto, things that I would stop doing so that I could focus on things that I was going to start doing.
I started taking long walks,
listening to music that lifted my soul,
listening to books that changed the way I thought
and provided a new framework for how I saw myself and the world.
I learned a new way to become the person I wanted to own being.
I started to connect with people on LinkedIn and pursued every single connection I could think of outside of Internetland.
It was a Renaissance!
I was face to face with so many new people, I forgot to focus on myself and how hard the road ahead was and was going to be.
The more people I talked to, the more I started to identify potential jobs, companies, industries where my skill set aligned, when they belonged together like Lennon and McCartney. Like Lenny and Squiggy. Like Oreos and pickle juice.
What? You haven’t tried that yet? Do it. I’ll wait.
See? Surprisingly wonderful, huh?
I sent out a thousand resumes. And got zero interest. But I continued to build my network.
I talked to a thousand recruiters. And didn’t have enough relevant experience. But continued to build my network.
This went on and on, but I was becoming something new, someone who started to see failure as the next necessary step to get where I was going.
And then, there was an opportunity. A game changing result!
Through a contact, I onboarded as a consultant to train a tech framework. To coach. To support teams. To mentor. To present. To create value everyday. To learn. To grow. To share that learning and growth.
It’s everything I was good at. Everything on that list.
THEN, I joined a coaching cohort, where I was able to start building Chris 3.0 as an executive coach. This is where my greatest desire meets the world’s greatest need.
So, I started in on the mindset work that I’ll spend a ton of time on this Substack coaching you through.
Then I started building MY business. Then other opportunities started to open up. Saying yes to those led to other opportunities. Right now, I’m delaying new opportunities because I’m only one person.
What have I learned along the way?
1. The success formula we were sold is bullshit!
2. Rock bottom is actually solid ground, a foundation!
3. Nobody’s coming to save you, and that’s great news!
4. Connection beats credentials every time.
So, that’s why I’m building this Substack!
It took me years to learn this. And while I’m not guaranteeing that it won’t take you any less time to find your groove, create your pivot, that’s what I’m aiming for. That’s the bullseye.
My goal is for every subscriber to know that your are seen and heard, that you are not alone and if you are ready, you can and will create a new chapter that is thrilling, fulfilling and even better than you imagine.
My mission is to help a million people a year discover how to become more of who they believe that they can be.
I want to help you chisel your way into history.
I want to help you create a life that makes the solar system skip like a vinyl record.
I want to help you success so hard that entire planets are pulled into our galaxy.
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I do like coffee! And I still watch the steam roll off the top of the cup. But now? I'm not watching life happen - I'm making it burn. Your turn.